Bound Together

One couple’s insights into BDSM.

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BDSM on the Cheap

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Although BDSM is often associated with fancy leather or latex outfits and expensive equipment, the truth is you don’t need any of that to partake. You can be just as kinky using homemade gear or things you already own. Here are some of our favorite ways to do BDSM on the cheap.


Misogyny in BDSM Dynamics

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We’re living proof that a couple that is egalitarian in every way can still enjoy hot BDSM play. This even includes fantasy scenes that toy with sexist gender-normative themes such as slut shaming and CNC. But as much as the BDSM scene purports to be feminist and all about consent, the unfortunate truth is that whatever societal ills plague the vanilla world are just as present in the BDSM community, including misogyny.

The fact that misogyny exists in BDSM shouldn’t be surprising given that the majority of straight men in the BDSM community identify as dominants and the majority of straight women identify as submissives. Of course, this doesn’t mean that all, or even most, male doms are misogynistic. But it does mean that those who are often attempt to hide behind the dominant label. Some male doms forget that BDSM is essentially about role play. Instead, they act as if subs are inferior and don’t deserve to be treated as equals. In its most extreme form, misogyny in BDSM manifests as outright abuse, but it also shows up in less overt forms. Below are a few of the common ways that chauvinistic doms confuse fantasy with reality.


The Ultimate Guide to BDSM Dirty Talk

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The vast majority of people fantasize about dirty talk during sex, especially people who fantasize about BDSM. But turning these fantasies into reality can be a challenge if you don’t know what to say or are afraid you’ll blurt out something embarrassing that will kill the mood. Our BDSM dirty talk guide brings together everything kinky couples like us need to know based on the best ideas from books, articles, classes, and hours of hot (and occasionally awkward) BDSM research.


A Guide to Spontaneous CNC Scenes

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Aren’t consensual non-consent (CNC) scenes supposed to be carefully planned and negotiated? How can a CNC scene be done safely in the heat of the moment? The answer to the first question is yes! Especially if you have something elaborate in mind. But if you know your partner well, it’s entirely possible to add spontaneous CNC to your kinky repertoire without discussing every detail ahead of time.


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