Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM

Bound Together

One couple’s insights into BDSM

Latest Posts

Beyond Consent: BDSM Activities That Are Too Dangerous

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics
May 28, 2026
9 Min Read
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Woman with rope around her neck

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Many of the things BDSM players enjoy, like impact, CNC, and rope bondage, involve more risk than vanilla sex. In some cases, that’s even part of the appeal. It’s also why the BDSM community spends so much time emphasizing consent and safety. The thinking goes that as long as the people involved are consenting risk-aware adults, they can do what they want—a philosophy reflected in frameworks like SSC and RACK. We disagree and think it’s time to talk plainly about BDSM activities that are simply too dangerous to do. As cases ripped from the headlines show, consent alone isn’t enough. In this post, we’ll discuss a few kinks that should always be off limits, others that require education to do properly, and red flags everyone should watch out for.

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If Everyone Is Kinky, Is Anyone? The BDSM Terminology Debate

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics, Communication
April 30, 2026
6 Min Read
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Large red and white striped circus tent

Passionate romance, deep intimacy, erogenous zones, eye contact. This is not a list of ingredients in PG-13 sex scenes. These have all been claimed as “kinks” by people discussing sex online, along with bondage, pet play, D/s, and anything else that typically falls under the BDSM umbrella. If everything and everyone is kinky, what does the word even mean? Is it beneficial for the definitions of kink and BDSM to keep expanding? We’ll explore these questions and more in this post, starting with where these words came from and how we got here.

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Your Kinkiest Fantasies Are More Normal Than You Think: Results from the Big Kink Survey

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Research
March 30, 2026
6 Min Read
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Woman crouching while gently tugging on a belt wrapped around a crawling man's neck

Have you ever wondered if your kinks are too weird or dark? Now, thanks to the largest kink survey in the known universe, we have the data to prove they aren’t. Aella, a rationalist, sex worker, and “survey artist,” has spent years running and refining a survey of nearly 300 kinky dimensions. As of today, the Big Kink Survey (BKS) has over a million respondents and offers an unprecedented look into our collective kinky psyche. Though it offers a treasure trove of data, its greatest insight isn’t about what people are into, but rather how surprisingly common all our kinks are. Here are five key takeaways from the BKS.

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Pillion: Why This BDSM Film Isn’t the Rom-Com You Think It Is

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Entertainment
February 26, 2026
8 Min Read
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A man with water dripping down his face and a padlock chained around his neck
Photo courtesy of A24.

“A timid man is swept off his feet when an enigmatic, impossibly handsome biker takes him on as his submissive.” That’s the anodyne description of the new BDSM movie Pillion, directed by Harry Lighton. Reviewers are describing it in even more lighthearted terms, calling it a rom-com (or dom-com), which, based on the trailer, is a fair assumption. But in reality, the movie is a much darker and less funny portrayal of an unhealthy BDSM dynamic that lacks proper negotiation and is largely getting a pass because it focuses on gay men instead of a heterosexual couple. Let’s dive into the details. (This post contains spoilers.)

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Beyond “Yes Means Yes”: Understanding Erotic Astonishment

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Communication
January 29, 2026
9 Min Read
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Woman with eyes open wide in astonishment

In the early days of Mimsy’s kink exploration, she hooked up with a guy who slapped her across the face during sex. It was utterly surprising and thrilling and remains etched in her memory to this day. The catch? It wasn’t negotiated in advance. Of course, this goes against every bit of BDSM conventional wisdom: Communicate clearly, negotiate before a scene, get explicit permission. But what about things you don’t know you want and therefore wouldn’t consent to in advance—BDSM surprises that only work because they catch you off guard? This is where the concept of erotic astonishment comes in. 

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Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM