When we think back to the first knots and spanks that marked our BDSM journeys, we realize that the advice that would have helped our younger selves find better and more mind-blowing experiences are exactly the same things we still do today. Here are five tips that helped us navigate BDSM with curiosity and care.
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As anyone exploring BDSM has likely discovered, finding reliable educational resources can be a challenge. While experienced kinksters often emphasize the importance of classes and community learning, many newbies turn to pornography to explore and learn about kink. But how well does porn actually educate people about BDSM? A February 2025 study by Iris Ryn Olson and Bryce Westlake examines this question, revealing the gaps, benefits, and risks of using porn as a learning tool about BDSM. Here’s what you need to know about the study.
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Depending on what you read, the premise of the erotic drama Babygirl is either believable and feminist or unbelievable and deeply unfeminist. The kink in the movie is either realistic and titillating or unrealistic and passe. The movie was either clearly made by someone with kink experience or by vanilla know-nothings. There have been so many contradictory takes on this movie it’s hard to know what to think.
But the director, Halina Reijn, has given us a huge hint about this tale of a high-powered female CEO’s D/s affair with a young male intern. In an interview with Cosmopolitan, she said, “We’re witnessing two people who are not doing it totally right. They have no experience in the Dom/sub world. My movie is a fable, it’s not a documentary. It’s a cautionary tale.” It’s through this lens that we’ll discuss the good and the bad of Babygirl. (This post does include spoilers.)
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Allegations of sexual abuse and assault against the famous author Neil Gaiman first came to light in 2024 via the podcast Master, which presented the accounts of four women who had been sexually involved with Gaiman. An article in Vulture in early 2025 brought renewed attention to those allegations and included the stories of additional women.
Collectively, these accounts revealed a pattern: Gaiman seems to have sadistic dominant tendencies and picked vulnerable, mostly much younger, women to enact them with. In many of the cases, the women allege that they hated his treatment of them but felt compelled or coerced to consent. Gaiman’s position is that all of these relationships were entirely consensual. This raises important questions about the ethics of domination and submission in a BDSM dynamic.
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When people talk about generative AI, they’re usually referring to large language models (LLMs), which try to predict the best answer to your questions based on the published history of a topic. You’ve probably used it to ask questions you would have Googled in the past (How long does it take to cook chicken thighs? What causes lake-effect snow?). Or maybe you’ve used it to do work-related tasks like draft code or revise the tone of an email you want to send. Some people find it fascinating and helpful, while others are deeply suspicious of its capabilities. Love it or hate it, one thing is clear: AI is here to stay. So, if you’re game, why not try to use it in BDSM? In this post, we’ll explain how AI can help you with two common BDSM tasks: coming up with scene ideas and writing a contract.
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